“A" rant.

Wednesday, April 5th, 2000

That’s it, I simply cannot stand it another minute. I have to rant a tiny bit. I have to be snotty and pedantic and let out all my pent-up frustration. I have to say it.

The word “definitely" does NOT have an “A" in it! Not! Not! Not!

If I am surfing the Web one more time and I come across one more instance of someone writing “definately" instead of “definitely", I think I will lose my mind, and I will repeatedly scream “THERE IS NO BLOODY AAAAAAAAA…!!!" until I am carted off to the not-so-funny farm, where I will peacefully read dictionaries page by page for the rest of my life.

I know I’m overreacting. I know that not everyone is good at spelling (buy a dictionary). I know that sometimes people make typos (ever heard of a spell check?). And I know that some people just don’t really care about words or spelling or grammar or the rest of it (you are going to Hell).

I just don’t think I’ve ever seen a word so consistently misspelled, and it has become my number one linguistic pet peeve. It’s far worse than the “it’s/its" thing, which is also annoying, but which does not grate on me nearly as much as “definately". The “their/they’re/there" problem is right up there with “definately", but it’s still not quite the same caliber.

In fact, I can think of no other mistake that gets my goat as much as “definately" - except maybe “infinately". Definately. Ugh. It’s appalling to look at. It’s horrible to type. It’s actually difficult to type because, as I realized when I started writing this, the AutoCorrect on my computer automatically changes “definately" to “definitely". Does no one else use this nifty little word processing feature?

I know a lot of you are thinking, “Good God, she needs to get a life.” And some of you will maybe scan my website now for any spelling mistakes or grammatical errors or typos that I may have made myself - in which case, you need to get a life even more than I do. So don’t bother.

I’m not claiming to be the English language queen. I do enjoy reading dictionaries for the fun of it, and I did win a spelling bee once, but I still have to stop and think about how to spell “restaurant" and “bureaucracy" and “embarrassment". When I’m typing too fast, I write “its" instead of “it’s" and “to" when I mean “too". I’m sure that there are numerous nuances of grammar that I am completely missing.

And I don’t expect anyone to be a walking dictionary or to have memorized The Elements of Style. When someone writes me an e-mail or a letter, the last thing I think about is whether a word has been misspelled or a typo has gone unnoticed. I love words, but I’m not that pathetic.

But I do think that people writing for the general public need to show a little respect for the written word - and for their readers. They need to be aware that linguistic sloppiness reflects badly on the writer and is an insult to the reader. They need to take the time to make sure that they are not butchering their language through sheer carelessness.

And by all means, if nothing else, they need to make sure that they never, ever, ever, ever, ever spell the word “definitely" with an “a".

Comments

1

I was going to just delete this comment from "Larry" (webmaster’s prerogative), but he’s proven my point perfectly: 1) he can’t be bothered to find the shift key or any punctuation marks on his keyboard, and 2) he should have written "You’RE an idiot." Thank you for this fine demonstration of linguistic carelessness and ignorance, Larry!

2

your definately an idiot and their is alot more to say then that.

Just kidding, cool thread btw :)

3

yer, im not really botherd by ppl shortenin words for speed wen in informal situations and, a lack of punctuation (as you can tell) doesn’t bother me either, as long as there is enough for what you are sayin to make sense!! but the defin’A’tely thing really is crazy. it’s truly amazin the sheer amount off ppl that get it wrong. AND…the other thing is, its written wrongly on such a scale that people dont believe you wen you tell them!!!! they should announce it on the news or somthin cus i think a lot of ppl just need to be made aware. i myself spellt it wrongly til i was bout 14 (im now 18) until sum1 pointed it out to me. i know, im ashamed!

Posted by Rich UK

4

I’m actually a woman - but I’m still glad you agree!

Posted by Jessica

5

You’re a good man, and "I" agree with you completely!

Posted by Dru

6

Hmmm, will the website link work this time?

7

That was wonderful. I feel your pain.

8

The other ubiquitous annoyance is the disappearance of the comma in instances like "Hey Jessica" or "Hi John." Was the Internet world asleep in grade school when such basics were taught?

Posted by Grump

9

E.M.:- The word "emcee" is actually an accepted, dictionary-based form of the original Master of Ceremonies title. It’s listed as the pronunciation, yet the spelling is still correct. Think of it as an odd form of onomatopoeia, like blop or ping.

10

I think it matters because I think it’s important to have some sort of standard that people can use to make themselves unambiguously understood. Have you ever tried reading documents from, say, the 17th century? Sheesh - they spell the same word three different ways on the same page. The standard is there for ease of communication. You don’t have to make use of the standard in your private communication with friends who don’t care about language any more than you do, but in a professional or public forum, then it’s a matter of respect towards those you’re addressing to avail of the standard and make it easier for everyone to comprehend what the heck you’re trying to say.

Posted by Jessica

11

what is with you people and all of your grammer? why does it matter if i can spell or not? if i wan’ted to be able to spell i might be able to try. just except the fact that sum people cant spell. i will say definately all i wa’nt. were bringing you to hell with us. :-)

12

yeaah… i’m not a native english speaker but i do agree with you. It’s pathetic that people always type ‘definately’, it doesn’t make sense to me. Actually i just niticed this lately when i read a lot on australian idol message board, and then by curiousity tried to search on the net and found out there are just too many people out there write ‘definately’….

I can’t understand. Perhaps it’s better if each dictionary starts to change ‘definitely’ with ‘definately’. After all, languages are always growing, aren’t they?

Posted by bodo

13

Hey, I just have to ask - is anyone else driven crazy by "emcee"? That’s my pet peeve. It’s "M.C.", as in short for MASTER OF CEREMONIES! *M*aster of *C*eremonies!! M.C. is the abbreviation!! Why doesn’t anyone seem to KNOW that anymore?? What is with this "emcee" nonsense? Argh!!! Totally irrational, I know….but that just goes to show that you’re not the only one!

Posted by E.M.

14

Oh sh.. That’s the trouble with spelling peeves - something comes out wrong in one’s own post! Make that ‘you’d think’.

Posted by Ju

15

I couldn’t agree more! I put in a search for ‘rant grammar spelling’ and came across your post. After all it’s only ONE WORD!! You think that people could learn how to spell that one word correctly.

16

Try living in a country where regional accents are being supplanted by an amalgam of estuary english picked up from a soap`Eastenders`and,of all things an questioning rising inflection gleaned from an Australian programme `Neighbours` Here in rural England I hear people ask`Coming wiv us?`or`me bruvver`or even more bizarrely`A pint of Worvington`Everything,becomes everyfin. Now I was brought up in that area of the south where London became Essex and is now part of Greater London and I never.never heard accents like that.Speech,spelling and conversation just happen.

Posted by al ward

17

I’m glad I’m not the only one with this peeve. A few more peeves have come to light since I wrote this article (e.g., even if using the word "marinade" as a verb is not technically wrong, it drives me up the wall for some reason), but this particular one is definitely (ha!) still the worst.

You’re right - Larry may well have been making a kind of clever joke. If I remember correctly, though, Larry left some other rude comments here and there on my website around the same time, so I think my patience with Larry had worn thin at this point! :-)

18

Hey Jessica I completely agree with you (in fact I stumbled across this page via a google search on "definitely definately peeve"). I think larry might be making a joke. If so, it’s kinda clever in a really dumb way.

Take care!

Posted by Aaron

19

your an idiot

Posted by larry

20

This is the single most annoying thing about the internet to me. Not spam. Not viruses. I could care less about grammar (evidenced herein), form, level of intellect or polite diction. But I can’t think of another word with a schwa i in it that is so frequently misspelled, and it’s just plain ugly. If it were shorter, or somehow that these idiots realized it was a misspelling, well that would DEFINITELY be easier for me to stomach. More bizarre is that the word "defiantly", a perfectly good word from a perfectly good family, has now somehow become an online misspelling of "definately". Based on raw, gross usage, at this rate it’ll be in the OED, or at least one of the new Webster’s slang dictionaries

21

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{A lot of|Lots of|Many|Numerous} {other folks|folks|other people|people} {will be|shall be|might be|will probably be|can be|will likely be} benefited {from your|out of your} writing. Cheers!| {I am|I’m} curious to find out what blog {system|platform} {you have been|you happen to be|you are|you’re} {working with|utilizing|using}? I’m {experiencing|having} some {minor|small} security {problems|issues} with my latest {site|website|blog} and {I would|I’d} like to find something more {safe|risk-free|safeguarded|secure}. Do you have any {solutions|suggestions|recommendations}?| {I am|I’m} {extremely|really} impressed with your writing skills {and also|as well as} with the layout on your {blog|weblog}. Is this a paid theme or did you {customize|modify} it yourself? {Either way|Anyway} keep up the {nice|excellent} quality writing, {it’s|it is} rare to see a {nice|great} blog like this one {these days|nowadays|today}.| {I am|I’m} {extremely|really} {inspired|impressed} {with your|together with your|along with your} writing {talents|skills|abilities} {and also|as {smartly|well|neatly} as} with the {layout|format|structure} {for your|on your|in your|to your} {blog|weblog}. {Is this|Is that this} a paid {subject|topic|subject matter|theme} or did you {customize|modify} it {yourself|your self}?

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Posted by Canada Goose jakke

22

Thanks for letting me see behind the scenes of your Mad Libs spam generator, “Canada Goose jakke”. Very interesting. Now please piss off.

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