Resolve by
January 2008
Happy New Year, everyone!
So, the holidays have come to an end—far too early, as usual. Tomorrow I’ll be hopping on a plane with Jeremy and his mom and making the long trek back to England. I can’t say I’m particularly looking forward to getting back to Brighton, but I’m sure once I’m there and settled in again, everything will be fine.
I haven’t really made any New Year’s resolutions, though vague thoughts of self-improvement have been floating around in my mind over the past day or two. But I get the feeling I’m on the wrong track with the whole resolution thing. Jeremy’s resolutions for the coming year include such concrete goals as donating blood and playing more bouzouki. My semi-formed resolutions include such things as being more assertive, less complacent, more sociable, more patient—abstract aims which are less about what I do and more about who I am.
But can you really just resolve to be a different person like that? I have my doubts. So I’m not making a list of formal New Year’s resolutions. Instead, I’m going to do my best to find some sense of internal resolve day by day. I’ll take things as they come. I don’t expect to become a whole new person this year, and I’m not going to beat myself up if, at the end of 2008, I find I’m still generally unassertive and impatient. But I hope that I’ll have a few days here and there when I make myself do something I’m afraid to do, when I take the plunge instead of procrastinating, when I at least act like the person I want to be even if, deep down, I’m not quite that person just yet.