Why is it that, when I’m crossing the road in front of my house in a completely normal fashion, after having carefully looked both ways to make sure that no one in a car is about to plow me over, and I’m in the middle of the road, and some idiot in a big snotty minivan comes barreling around the corner onto the street I’m crossing without so much as looking in the direction he’s turning or even hesitating even though there’s a yield sign there (which should be a stop sign and at which most normal people stop anyway because it’s such a dodgy intersection), and that when I suddenly have to run to avoid being creamed by Mister Minivan, and Mister Minivan finally sees me and slams on his brakes to avoid splattering me across the road - why is it that a driver like this always proceeds to then give me a look like I’m the idiot and how dare I be crossing the street in front of him when he just wants to whiz blindly around a corner and be on his merry minivan way?

And why is it that, in general, when some people get behind the wheel of a car, they suddenly think that not just the streets but also the intersections and the crosswalks and the sidewalks and the bike paths all belong to them, and that the rest of the world should just Get the Hell Out of Their Way, because if they drive a car, they must have the God-given right of way to be a total jerk? Why is it that some drivers think that, when they’re in a car, they’re not responsible for avoiding anyone else, but everyone else is responsible for avoiding them?

If you’ve got a big loud engine and several tons of metal underneath you, this does not mean that you are somehow entitled to more respect than the rest of humanity. It means that you had bloody well better be extra careful when careening around in your motorized ego, because I’m probably not going to kill anyone if I bump into them as a pedestrian, but you’re definitely going to kill someone if you slam into them with your jerkmobile.

Yes, of course, there are irritating pedestrians and stupid cyclists. If I do something stupid or illegal, either on foot or on my bike, you can get mad at me and honk your horn or give me a dirty look or whatever. But if you’re just irritated because I’m not moving at the pace you’d like or I happen to be someplace you don’t want me to be, then you’re going to have to just chill out and deal.

And if I’m behaving in a perfectly reasonable, responsible fashion and you screw up, don’t you dare act as if it’s somehow my fault that you didn’t turn on your blinker/stop at a red light/bother to look where you’re going. Don’t act as if it’s some big hassle for you to stop at an intersection and actually indicate before plowing on down the road. Don’t rev your engine at me when I’m crossing legally - and briskly - at a crosswalk. And don’t give me a look when you nearly run me down because you’re in too much of a hurry to pay attention to where the hell you’re driving.

I’m sick of bullies in cars who don’t seem to know what blinkers or brakes are for. It infuriates me when people are so careless. I have road rage, and I’m not even driver! It’s actually worse as a pedestrian because I can’t even honk a horn to signal my irritation when someone in a car does something completely stupid. I usually wind up shouting something at the retreating car, which is really pointless because 1) the driver obviously can’t hear me, and 2) I instinctively shout my choice words in English, which a German driver probably wouldn’t understand anyway. A hand signal would be much better, but in this country I’m generally too scared to give any sort of hand signal because you can be fined a lot of money for doing so. So I yell and stomp away and fume for several moments afterwards, griping and grumbling about the blankety-blank-blank driver in his blankety-blank-blank car and blankety-blank-blank-blank.

And then I write a nasty journal entry and feel much better about the whole thing.