Misanthrope.
Monday, August 28th, 2000
There are some days when I simply should not be out moving amongst the masses. On days like these - on days like today to be exact - I need a personal space of about 6 feet on all sides in order to feel comfortable. I feel like everyone is watching me. I feel like people are poking me with their elbows on purpose. I wonder the why the people I’m sitting next to in the tram don’t move over so I can stop feeling their legs brush against mine. I wonder why the people walking in front of me don’t speed up or get out of the way so I’m not tripping over them. I wonder why the people behind me don’t slow down or go around me so I don’t have them tripping over me.
And speaking of people behind me, standing in line at the grocery store is a torture for me on days like this. Why on earth do people insist on scooting up so close to me in line that they are literally breathing down my neck? I scoot up to give myself some space, and they scoot right up close to me again. I scoot up, they scoot up. I scoot up, they scoot up. It’s absolutely maddening and it makes my skin crawl. Are they afraid someone is going to cut in front of them in line or what? Okay, in Germany that’s not such an unfounded fear, but for pity’s sake, you don’t need to weld yourself to my body to keep your place in line. Get off my tail already.
And here’s another tip for all the people out and about in town (and this isn’t just for days when I’m in a bad mood either): if you’re trying to decide whether or not to go up or down an escalator, stand aside while you think about it. I have no desire to fight my way past the human wall you are creating while you debate the pros and cons of getting on the moving stairs. And if you’ve reached the end of an escalator and you’re trying to decide where to go after you get off of it, then move away from the end while you make your decision. I also have absolutely no desire to be pitched off of the escalator and directly into you because you’re standing there like a bump on a log and taking absolutely no notice of anything going on around you.
It’s completely irrational, but on days like this, everyone bothers me. Everyone looks bizarre. Everyone is too loud and too close. Everything is too much. Everything overwhelms me, and it’s only when I’m back home, back in my little snail shell and sheltered from so much oppressive humanity, that I can just relax and feel a bit more normal. On days like this, I should never leave the house. I should never subject anyone else to my wretched, misanthropic mood.
I’m just not fit for society on days like this.
Comments
1
You’re absolutely right. There are just too many people in this over crowded country. This may sound somewhat radical, but I get to feel that way quite often. They bother me on the Autobahn, at the Bank at the Postamt… You know what I do? Slowly take a breath, do what I have to do and hurry home to sit in my comfy chair. So I will now :-)
Bye
2
Jonathan Swift proposed the ultimate solution for the Irish excess population was for them to eat their children … probably not politically correct! Be thankful you are not emigrating to the Far East where the idea of personal space is defined much differently. I have often found a slightly crazed look and a low growl will intimidate most people who will not back off :-)
3
Have you ever heard the term ‘personal bubble’? I’m sure you have. But what is a bubble? Is it something elastic? Yes, sometimes it is: Other people bounce off it, if I want them too. But sometimes other people - people one does not even know - seem to pierce that bubble, or squish it at least. Isn’t a bubble always as stable as its filling? Maybe the filling is not the character of a person, but rather, the mood, the feelings… And what’s the point of a metaphor?
4
Well, you know, he ain’t heavy, he’s my bother. That’s what I always think when someone is standing on my foot. Also, I’m into early Motown, because it gives me fun, fun, Jeremy, fun.
5
The funny thing is, I always hear certain sections of society here going on about how the Germans need to have more kids or else the German population is going to die out. Puh-leez. How many people do they think can fit into one relatively small country? I do realize that this argument is not in favor of raising overall population numbers, but rather in raising *German* population numbers - but that’s an issue for another time.
I can’t imagine myself being able to hold out very long in someplace like Tokyo (though I’d love to visit there sometime). It’s just too darn much humanity for me to handle. It’s one of the great things about Arizona - it’s pretty empty. I’m not a total hermit or anything, but sometimes I really do need to get away from it all. Where do you go to get away from it all in Tokyo? I find it hard enough to get away from it all in *Freiburg*.
I have heard the term "personal bubble", and back when I was sixteen and I wrote your typical terrible teenage Angst-ridden poetry, I wrote a poem called "Sphere of Isolation" (go on, laugh) which addressed the problem of the kind of personal bubble - the bubble of loneliness - that you *want* people to break through. Nowadays I sometimes wish that my bubble was actually a brick wall that would prevent anyone from coming near me. But that’s only on my misanthropic days.
You know, when I’m not being a complete sociopath, though, I can really be quite nice and friendly. Really. Truly.
6
Steppenwolf- one of my favourate books.
Nothing more needs to be said.
7
That’s favorite actually!
Oh lord, save me from people who can’t spell
8
"The city is not a concrete jungle. It is a human zoo." —Desmond Morris
And its no wonder that Jessica feels the way she does.
9
That’s a very cool quote, Manu, and it reminds me once again that I have to read some Desmond Morris books sometime. The man has some interesting ideas.
I have to read Steppenwolf as well, for that matter. Even if it causes people to not be able to spell. :)
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